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To all my Feminists and Men’s Rights activists, this is a humble urge not to anticipate but instead read and interpret. Once upon a time, a man named Robert lived in the United States. Robert was a happily married man blessed with two children. However, now Robert was detained for domestic violence in a state penitentiary, where he had attempted suicide by slitting his throat ear to ear. By the grace of God, he was saved and sent to a psychiatrist. While talking to his counsellor, Robert burst into tears about how he was sexually abused by his uncle at six and gang-raped at twenty-one. This revelation by him made his counsellor realize the underlying cause of his trauma. Moreover, it was later realized by Robert’s wife that Robert was never trying to abuse her. Instead, his past trauma from unconsented touch led Robert to act violently one day when they shared a private moment together.
The moral of this story might come as a huge shock to some. But, keeping all the toxic masculinity and bourgeois thinking aside, here goes nothing, “Even men suffer from trauma, and when this trauma is not addressed properly, it leads to addiction and destruction of oneself.” Society continues to expect men to be tough and swallow the abuse. In most families, if a girl ever complains of getting touched inappropriately, they are heard by their parents, and appropriate action is taken against the perpetrators, thanks to the laws against women abuse. However, if the same happens to a boy, be it by a man or a woman, they are told to keep quiet. In another incident, a female teacher was accused of sexual assault on a fifteen-year-old boy. A reporter made fun of the incident by calling it an enjoyable experience. The conclusion here is that most people fail to understand that abuse at a young age leads to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This PTSD later becomes the root cause of domestic violence, substance abuse, and suicides in the later stages of life.
Nowadays, men have also been victims of false domestic violence, rape charges, unjust divorce alimony, and child custody. There have been innumerable incidences in which the wife has falsely accused her husband and his family members of domestic violence with the sole aim of extorting money from them. Moreover, in countries like India, due to article 498-A of the penal code, which is a non-bailable offence, many men remain falsely accused of the offence. To add to the unjustness of this law, it is not just the husband that can be arrested; any member of his family named by the victim can also be arrested. A few years back in India, a victim named her husband’s two and four-year-old nephews as part of the domestic violence case.
Moreover, as per the latest statistics by NCRB, 74% of rape cases under section 376 of the Indian penal code end up acquitting the accused. This seriously makes us question whether the law is just or not. Does it provide justice to the victims, or does its abuse make the accused the real victim?
Men might get acquitted by the courts of law. However, the court of public opinion strips them of their dignity. To prove the point, one does not need to look far. Most people would know the recent Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard case verdict. Johnny Depp, considered one of the biggest names in Hollywood, was falsely accused by his wife, Amber Heard, of domestic violence. Instantly he was stripped of his role as Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean. Just because of a mere allegation from his wife. Try to implore to imagine that a man of the stature of Johnny Depp was stripped of dignity by the court of public opinion just by a mere accusation. Then how do we expect a commoner who has been accused and incarcerated due to a non-bailable provision to be ever given his dignity back even if acquitted by the court of law? The fact of the matter is that men might get acquitted by the law, but the court of public opinion will not even give them the benefit of the doubt, let alone acquittal.
Another way that the law is being abused nowadays is through false divorce filings. In countries like India, it is insured under the law that the wife has a share in the land holdings of her husband. Moreover, she is entitled to alimony, and in case of child custody, the father also has to pay for child support. Nowhere in the law has it been clearly stated whether a marriage that lasts for two days should be given the same alimony as one which lasts for two decades. This leads to many scams which can be seen nowadays. A man not only loses financially in such cases but is also ripped apart emotionally.
Going through the above text, many might label me as a Men’s Rights Activist or a misogynist. However, I am saddened that you have not interpreted my piece; instead, you have anticipated me. Contrary to how many Men’s Rights Activists believe that men are dying at a younger age due to more stress, which does not have any scientific basis, and how more and more boys are dropping out of school as compared to girls, which does not agree with any authentic statistic. I believe in human rights. In my view, the law should not be gender-specific; instead should apply equally to everyone. The provisions of law, which are made to protect, must not be used to abuse any gender. We as a society need to free our minds from the clutches of conventional thinking, which discriminates against any gender.
—VEDANT GUPTA